s2e3: Romancing the Mushroom

We execute our plan to get—wait for it—out of the abyss. 

“I’m his egg; he’s my chicken.”

CAST & BUILDS

Jim: Dungeon Master

Daniel: Gaul (human druid 1)

For my free human feat at level 1, I chose sentinel, which makes me pretty tanky.

My plan is to class up to druid 2 in order to get wild shape, and then hit up monk for some levels.

This is to make a kung fu panda build, in which I turn into a panda (or whatever) and use kung fu.

Tim: Igneum (human sorcerer 1)

Tim was going for a full on fire fire fire all the time fire draconic sorcerer build.

The action algorithm was something like this: if (fire) or not (fire) then fire.

Apparently, this build gets a bonus to fire bolt. So, yeah. It’s a thing you can do if you like burninating the countryside and/or the peasants.

Asa: Thub-nub (halfling bard 1)

Asa was going for the standard (for our group) heal+debuff bard, I think. But, as you will find out in the next few episodes, this build took a turn for the weiiiiirrrrd.

“Crunk Knight” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

s2e2: Think Before We Think




We are bad at planning prison breaks — somehow we settle on an escape plan — actual D&D.

This episode is more like a documentary on how people come up with goofy D&D plans. It’s half an hour of us figuring out what in the world to do next. It seems to be mostly a process of throwing out the worst ideas we can think of and gradually trying to work out way up. 

CAST

Jim: Dungeon Master

Daniel: Gaul (human druid 1)

For my free human feat at level 1, I chose sentinel, which makes me pretty tanky.

My plan is to class up to druid 2 in order to get wild shape, and then hit up monk for some levels.

This is to make a kung fu panda build, in which I turn into a panda (or whatever) and use kung fu.

Tim: Igneum (human sorcerer 1)

Tim was going for a full on fire fire fire all the time fire draconic sorcerer build.

The action algorithm was something like this: if (fire) or not (fire) then fire.

Apparently, this build gets a bonus to fire bolt. So, yeah. It’s a thing you can do if you like burninating the countryside and/or the peasants.

Asa: Thub-nub (halfling bard 1)

Asa was going for the standard (for our group) heal+debuff bard, I think. But, as you will find out in the next few episodes, this build took a turn for the weiiiiirrrrd.

“Crunk Knight” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

s2e1: Maggot Mama




Starting Out of the Abyss proper — we’re all going crazy — sure hope you like maggots. 

This season, we’re splitting our session into chunks so that we can have a more regular release schedule and also edit the episodes a little more thoroughly, which is to say, edit them at all.

So this episode ends right as we are about to begin coming up with our escape plan.

Here’s the video that I took my awful sound clip from:


CAST

Jim: Dungeon Master

Daniel: Gaul (human druid 1)

For my free human feat at level 1, I chose sentinel, which makes me pretty tanky.

My plan is to class up to druid 2 in order to get wild shape, and then hit up monk for some levels.

This is to make a kung fu panda build, in which I turn into a panda (or whatever) and use kung fu.

Tim: Igneum (human sorcerer 1)

Tim was going for a full on fire fire fire all the time fire draconic sorcerer build.

The action algorithm was something like this: if (fire) or not (fire) then fire.

Apparently, this build gets a bonus to fire bolt. So, yeah. It’s a thing you can do if you like burninating the countryside and/or the peasants.

Asa: Thub-nub (halfling bard 1)

Asa was going for the standard (for our group) heal+debuff bard, I think. But, as you will find out in the next few episodes, this build took a turn for the weiiiiirrrrd.

“Crunk Knight” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 22: Macroaggression

(from the 5e Monster Manual)

The cult strikes back, and then the party re-strikes back. We have Asa and Alex in the same room this time. Lots of quality banter this time. They really are OP for this content, which leads to some amusing moments. Less karaoke this episode.

CAST

  • Daniel (DM)
  • Jim (Dave the bard)
  • Tim (Bart the pally)
  • Moose (Keith the TWBB)
  • Alex (Jep the necromancer)
  • Asa (Phirrip the beastmaster ranger)

ALTERNATE TITLES

  1. I Disbelieve the Helmet-Inn
  2. Bone-tent
  3. Lumbermancer
  4. It Bursts from the Ground and Immediately Dies
  5. Welcome to the Surface
  6. Welcome Topside, Varmint
  7. I Live in a Home of Bones
  8. Like a Thick Gary Oldman
  9. Loincloths & Laurels

Episode 21: Our Favorite Albums

fighting in the fire cult tower

Alex joins us — vengeance on the fire cult — we talk about our favorite albums.

Musical shownotes after the break:
We took a detour @ 1:42:12 to talk about our favorite albums ever, no matter how embarrassing. A lot of them were from when we were in high school; so please do excuse us.

We also mentioned Mallory Ortberg from the Toast, the best humor writer today. 

Episode 20: Slaying Dragon Turtles for XP and Profit

snapping turtle image from Wikimedia Commons

This session was not recorded.

We played at a FLGS with an abnormal player configuration. 
The plan to kill the Hezrou went off well. 
Then some cultists ran to the lower level with our characters in pursuit. They overheard the passwords and recited them to the mezzoloth who guarded the stairs. 
They did not go down the stairs. The mezzoloth was cool with them. He was just doing his job. They hung out. 
Then they decided to kill the dragon turtle in the lake. 
One zombie used as bait. Skeleton archers with water walking shot at the thing when it surfaced but soon were destroyed by its steam breath.
The party retreated and reconsidered. 
Where can we buy poison?
3 days north, city called Yartar. It’s mobbed up.
They go, meet Davkas’s contact Side Job (Job as in Job Psalms Proverbs). They give a +1 dagger and 850gp for two barrels of mixed poison. And 50g for 3 fresh corpses to raise. 
They tripped on mushrooms. The necromancer saw a roiling black ocean of flesh. When he went to walk on it, hands emerges from it to form a bridge. He crossed. Davkas saw himself back in prison, but it was a very very small prison. 
Back in the dungeon, the poison is injected into bladders. The bladders tied to zombies. Remaining poison injected into zombie bodies and sewn up mouths.
The corpses kicked into the lake. 
The dragon turtle consumes them and dies within the minute. 

It was good poison. 

They plunder its hoard and end up with a slim profit and a bunch of XP. 

Episode 19: Dungeon Oysters

a wild ettin has appeared

The audio quality on this episode is really bad.

We did a double-hangouts, and something was wrong
Cast: 
  • Daniel (DM)
  • Tim (Bart the pally)
  • Jim (Dave the bard)
  • Asa, via hangouts (Phirrip the beastmaster ranger + Pookers)
  • Josh, via hangouts (Winston the clizzard [cleric/wizard multiclass])
If you brave the audio quality, you will encounter the following mildly amusing highlights:
  • Two large heaps of dank memes
  • Welcome to Maths & Maths
  • #saveTheSlots
  • #notAllHags
  • WHERE’S THE QUAY?!?
  • “The time is now.”
We cleared out most of the level 2 water dungeon and allied with a sea hag.